Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I take the leech, I'm bleeding me

Ok, time to have a little fun! It’s bad enough that we are limited with mediocre choices in Jewish education in our wonderful city of Chicago; that notwithstanding, I thought I’d take a stab at the 10 Top ways to pay tuition for this second-rate service. Enjoy!

10. Donate first born
9. Pimp self out on street corner
8. Become a Nicaraguan drug mule
7. Plant a money tree in the backyard
6. Rob three banks (One isn’t enough, you’ll need at least three in order to pay the balance)
5. Go to Kollel so the rest of the community can pay it for you
4. Send each child to a different school. Tell each school that your money is going to the other schools
3. Send your kid to catholic school – it’s cheaper
2. Pay them with your own blood, but only if your blood is gold
1. Have a rich father/uncle/grandfather

4 comments:

Leah said...

funny, but unfortuantely, not soo funny, a little to scary...so, your gonna go with #9, huh? Watch out Chase and Albany!!

elisha said...

geez-I'm not sure you held anything back here! Do I want the rest of Chicago knowing how you really feel?

SAE said...

Loved all 10 of your suggestions, now you just have to decide which will work best for you - who said education is free or cheap!

savorit said...

I would opt for Nicaraguan drug mule perhaps, but only if there is a Union and full healthcare benefits. Maybe you can add sponsors to your blog and sell out to the man, in order to add a bit of income.